2 - Quest for the Claw: Cabbage Edition Pt. 3/3

Finally completing what he had set out to complete, Colin sits on top of a mountain ledge, looking down over the river and something that resembles a miniature mammoth grave-yard. Wondering how he's going to get down, he decides the quickest and easiest way is to just jump from ledge to ledge until he finally reaches the ground level; taking a look around at the surroundings.

Inspecting the mammoth remains and other elements strewn about the ground, a rustle is heard from a bush nearby; startling Colin so much that he immediately unsheathes his sword and raises his shield. Unexpectedly, what jumps out of the bush isn't a bandit, nor a goblin, nor a goblin riding a bandit, but a simple bunny rabbit... hopping around the landscape like it's the king of the rabbits. Full to the brim with rage, Colin knows exactly what rabbits are capable of; having heard of merchants having their watermelon supplies completely devoured by bunny rabbits, forcing them have to close shop for quite some time. With the fluffy rabbit bouncing around, Mr. Johanson approaches in the only way he knows how... loud as possible with sword above his head, screaming at the tops of his lungs; and chases the rabbit to the river.

"RAAAAHHHGGUURRLLLJJJIIGGHHH!!!"

Finally catching up to the rabbit after a chase worthy of Benny Hill music, he quickly removes the watermelon and cabbage eating monstrosity from the world of the living. Not bothering to clean the rabbit blood from his weapon and armor, he moves along the river in the direction of Riverwood, when he stumbles across a small run-down shack; small garden on the outside, and an old woman sitting outside in a chair, surprisingly not shouting for Colin to get off her lawn.

Don't mind the blood, it's just Laporidae Lagomorpha.

Attempting to spark a conversation with the lady, Colin receives nothing but three word answers, leaving him so insulted that he enters the woman's house and begins to rummage about. While searching through the house, Colin finds an old journal on Necromancy, some plants for alchemy, a skull or two, and... a super secret hidden cellar door that no one would have ever found...

Quick Harry! To the Chamber of Secrets!

Intrigued by the discovery of the trap door, Colin peers through a crack in the wooden walls, making sure the old woman is paying no attention to his actions; luckily, she is not and he continues to open the hatch and climb into the cellar. Slowing climbing down as to not make much noise, Colin reaches the bottom of the small foot-ladder and begins to look around: There's an alchemy and enchanting table in the corners, a few book shelves, potions, skulls, and note on a table which reads:

Necromancy; solving your family problems since 200 CE!

Well this isn't as homey as I thought it would be...

Finding nothing of value left in the cellar, Colin packs up what he can and heads back up to the surface, in hopes that the old lady is still unaware of where he had disappeared to for quite some time. Stepping outside in orders to make his escape, he notices the woman standing in front of him about ten feet out, and she begins to spew fire out of her hands, lighting Colin on fire! Trying to reason with her, he offers to put everything back but it's no use, she hears no voice of reason and continues to try and kill Mr. Johanson... which we all know is an impossible feat.

Ha! Colin Johanson is the human torch! Who knew?!

If one isn't good enough... Stab Stab and Stab again.

Dodging the flames the best he can, which is not at all, Colin charges forth with his sword above his head, striking the old woman several times before dropping her to her knees, and finishing her off with bash of the shield and a sword-thrust to the chest. With the charred skin removing itself and the old lady not a problem anymore, Colin loots her body of all important items and continues his journey back to Riverwood in order to complete what he set out to do long ago; turn in the Golden Claw to it's rightful owner.

Reaching Riverwood and entering through the same entrance he came in the first time, Colin notices a cart full of something better than treasure... something green, and leafy... a pile of delicious cabbage. Out of sheer delight, Colin rushes to the cart and instantly piles all the cabbage into his pack before heading into the Riverwood Trader.

CABBAAAAGGGEEE!!!!!

I now pronounce you; Dr. Claw!  May your M.A.D. adventures bring you great riches.

Returning the claw to the merchant, Colin receives the thanks of both the merchant and his sister, paying him some gold and sending him on his way, luckily Colin's home is within Riverwood and not far from the merchant's shop. Walking down the road, the sun begins to set and all the people in the town are beginning to head inside for the night, with all intents of going to sleep... but not Colin, he has other plans.

Home, sweet home.

Colin approaches his house, inserts the key and walks in; immediately placing the unimportant gear against the bookshelf, and heading towards the dinner table. On the table is a few bottles of different drinks; and some delicious looking rabbit meat... but Colin will have nothing of this, he clears the table with a single sweep of his arm and begins to place his feast on the table; Cabbage. Cabbage for days, or at least a few hours tonight as Colin feats upon the towns cabbage supply:

Colin, in his natural habitat... about to feast upon the wild cabbage.

Clearing the table of cabbage in a short amount of time, Colin gets up from the table and heads towards the bed, preparing to rest from what seemed like a week long adventure. Laying down, he slowly begins to doze off into a slumber, soon to wake up and continue his main quest: Becoming a Badass.